Marriage bliss

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RcSuD
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Marriage bliss

Postby RcSuD » Sat Jul 25, 2015 12:06 am

Marriage (Part I)

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady,
and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:


"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what ever time I want

-- and I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless

I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.
I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing
when I want with my old buddies, and don't you
give me a hard time about it.


Those are my rules. Any comments?"


His new bride said:


"No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night...

whether you're here or not."

************************************************

Marriage (Part II)


Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!


The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone stating,

'Here Lies MyWife -- Cold As Ever'!"




"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'll buy you a headstone reading:

'Here Lies MyHusband -- Stiff At Last'!"

*****************************************

Marriage (Part III)


Husband (a doctor) and his wife were having a fight at the breakfast table


Husband stood up in a rage saying, "...and you are no good in bed either"

.....and storms out of the house.

After some time he cools it and realises that he was nasty,

so decided to make amends and rang her.


She came to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband said,

"What took you so long to answer to the phone?

She says, "I was in bed."

"In bed this early, doing what?"

"Getting a second opinion!"

*****************************************

Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.


He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,


"Mother of Six" ........in spite of her objections.

One night, they went out to a party.

The man decided that it is time to go home

and wanted to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.

He shouted, at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?"


His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion,


shouted right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four".


*****************************************

THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man & his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.


Suddenly the man realised that the next day he would need his wife

to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.


Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE),
he wrote on a scrap of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00AM".

He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning the man woke, only to discover it

was 9:00 AM...and he had missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to make an issue about why his wife hadn't woken him
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM ... Wake up."


*****************************************

God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a 'rough draft' before the masterpiece.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

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Re: Marriage bliss

Postby tmaan » Mon Aug 24, 2015 1:36 am

Good Humor :)


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