Letter to Santa

Post anything that made you laugh...
User avatar

Topic author
Mod Team
Mod Team
Posts: 199
Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2015 6:08 pm
Location: BC Canada
Twitch.TV: http://Twitch.TV/
Status: Offline

Letter to Santa

Postby RcSuD » Tue Dec 08, 2015 1:31 am

Dear Santa,

How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to
the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an
X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas. I hope
you remember that come Christmas Day.

Merry Christmas,

Timmy Jones


Dear Timmy,

Thank you for you letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all
fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried about
all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn't
want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I'll
bring you something you can go outside and play with.

Merry Christmas,

Santa Claus

Mr. Claus,

Seeing that I have fulfilled the "Naughty vs. Nice" contract, set by
you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?


Tim Jones

Mr. Jones,

While I have acknowledged you have met the "nice" criteria, need I
remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a
guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well, that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorneys have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court.

Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your
health, but also improve your social skills and potentially help clear up a
complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most

Very Truly Yours,

S Claus

Now look here, Fat Man, I told you what I want and I expect you to
bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I'm about to tweet my boys and we're gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I'm taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHATEVER I WANT,



Listen Pizza Face,

Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the
world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe? "He sees you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake." Sound familiar genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your shit wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your Totino's pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom's basement. You're not getting what you asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in your ass and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.

S Clizzy


Dear Santa,

Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.



That's what I thought, you little bastard.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

User avatar

Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 697
Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2015 3:44 pm
Location: Southern Highlands
Age: 102
Status: Offline

Re: Letter to Santa

Postby Highlander » Tue Dec 08, 2015 1:53 am

Good one...

User avatar

Super Moderator
Super Moderator
Posts: 732
Joined: Wed Feb 18, 2015 1:06 am
Age: 59
Status: Offline

Re: Letter to Santa

Postby Moogie » Tue Dec 08, 2015 4:56 am

The power of Diablo ll gets stronger as time goes on! It keeps pulling you back!

Return to “Humour”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest